Saturday, September 27, 2008

Toes in my ribcage and a butt in my side...

My little Parker/Chloe has found a new favorite pastime... Making me as uncomfortable as possible! He/She will shift him/herself into an odd oblique position where I end up with a prominently large lump (which can only be a butt) sticking out my right side, while my left side collapses ever so slightly. The result is funny to look at but uncomfortable to live. At least it's not painful I guess. The other new favorite toy he/she has found is my bottom right rib. I'm just waiting for it to dislocate or something one day. I'm noticing how very agile his/her little feet and toes are. Toes go in between and push it down, then toes go underneath and push it up. Back down, back up... All I can do is try to tickle the feet away. I love that he/she seems to be developing a cute little personality. I can't wait to meet him/her!!!

At my last doctors appointment on Wednesday the 24th we were told everything is wonderful! Still head down (I think it's stuck) and a strong heartbeat averaging 150. I've put on a bit more weight but I'm still within the healthy limit. I was also told that we wont be trying to find out what it is just because it's getting so cramped in there that it would be very hard to get a good look any more. I'll have to settle for a surprise... Poo... But there you go, I said in this blog when I first found out we were pregnant not to expect any big announcements of "It's a Boy!", or "It's a Girl!" But that was of course before we changed our minds (mostly Preston) in favor of getting more stuff at baby showers. Cheap? I know...

The nice thing is because I move into my next week of pregnancy on Wednesdays, it's making time feel a little faster. At least as long as I am occupied enough on the weekends. Though I have to say, it's official that when I lay down on my back I can't breathe! That's always fun right?

Oh and a few weeks ago I bought my first pair of maternity pants! I know you're thinking "How did she swing waiting till the middle of the seventh month to get around to that?" I'm just amazing like that! Actually, I wasn't exactly a skinny person when I got pregnant in the first place and then I lost about 5 pounds right away. On top of that my waist shape changed and my pants seemed looser for a long time. So far I've been very lucky in that the last month or so is when I started to REALLY look pregnant and now there's a belly there that doesn't quite fit into my pants anymore so... That's why I'm amazing and all that! The only problem with the pants is that they forgot that short people get pregnant too! So they were like 5 inches too long. I get them hemmed and now they are perfect. Preston told me that he wants to borrow them for Thanksgiving since I will have had the baby by then and be finished with them. I love that guy but sometimes there is a overwhelming need to roll my eyes at him and sigh deeply before reminding him and myself that I love him too much for his own good!

On a non baby note, I have a funny story to tell but it requires a bit of a prelude so bear with me k?

I spent the weekend of the 13th and 14th in San Simon, AZ with some of my extended family. I know that extended family for me could be a lot of random people, given that I don't have a family tree but a family hedge, so I will elaborate...

My Grandma's (Nanny) brother-in-law Ed died in the beginning of this month and I went with my mom and sister Selena to the funeral. Ed was married to Aunt Opal (Nanny’s sister) and they lived in San Simon. Two of Nanny’s other sisters were there too: Aunt Em and Aunt Lynetta. As well as Aunt Lynetta's husband Ronnie and her daughter Rhonda.

Some of the "Sisters" Aunt Em, Aunt Opal, Nanny, and Aunt Lynetta

Though it was a sad occasion that we all got together it was the most fun I've had in a while. Nanny’s sisters are a barrel of laughs!!! We sat in the kitchen most of the time and listened to stories about Uncle Ed and 'the sisters'. Every time Nanny and her sisters would go to visit Aunt Opal, Uncle Ed would play practical jokes on them, and they would play jokes on him to get him back. I swear I spent more time laughing than anything else that weekend!

Nanny told us how once Ed was sitting in the kitchen talking to her while right in front of him she was sitting with a needle and thread sewing up the toes on his socks. Another story was how one of the sisters filled his boots with salt. The best story by far was told at the funeral itself. The last big prank he played on them. Ed left a big cardboard box with some fresh cut roses on top of it in the laundry room with a note that said "For my wonderful sisters". When the sisters came in and found it they opened the box and it was apparently empty. A few minutes later the unfortunate sister that was still in the room found herself cornered by a very large snake (not a poisonous one) the rest heard her shriek and the rest of them came running in to see what happened.

All together they managed to herd it outside, recover and plan retaliation. That afternoon Ed called the house and asked "Did you get my present?"
The sister on the phone replied, "Why yes! Thank you so much for the beautiful flowers! We love them!"
Confused he called again an hour later, "Any surprises?"
"No, what do you mean?"

Before he came home the sisters put a hole in a corner of the box to make it look like the snake had chewed its way out. That night they found him in the hallway, on his hands and knees, with a flashlight, looking under furniture. One of them snuck up behind him and while making a funny sound effect, pinched him on the butt! He jumped and whacked his head on the table he was under and ended up with a nice bump. The sisters felt this was their best retaliation and believe it was the reason the major pranks stopped from then on.

But that's not the story I meant to tell... lol!

After hearing the stories once again Aunt Em and Rhonda decided it was necessary to pull a few pranks in honor of his memory... So they brought out the "Indian guy". The "Indian guy" is a life sized dummy of a Native American dressed up as a cowboy. He's been around as long as I can remember and then some. This poor guy has been the brunt of lots of abuse and the base for many practical jokes.

My sister Selena has black hair and it happened to be the came color as the "Indian guy's". The sleeping arrangements were that she was sleeping in the queen sized bed with Nanny. So the night of the funeral Selena came into the kitchen and told Nanny that she was going to bed early, kissed her goodnight and left the room. Before she did that we had stuffed the poor guy into the bed on Selena's side and covered him with the blankets leaving only a little of his hair showing.

Selena waited patiently in the basement for 3 hours before Nanny finally went to bed. Nanny and I said goodnight in the hallway and she went in to bed. Selena came out of the basement and we waited just outside the door with Aunt Lynetta waiting for the scream that was sure to come any second. The lights went off and still nothing. Out in the hallway I mouthed to Lynetta "Did she get into the bed???" I could almost hear the silent fits of laughter from the others that were sleeping in the room with them, as everyone was in on the joke by this time.

Lynetta then went into the room and asked Nanny to give 'Selena' a goodnight kiss for her because she 'forgot' to. Nanny told her to just wait till morning because she didn't want to wake her up.

Finally as a last resort we sent Selena in. She walked right up to Nanny and said hello! It didn't take long for Nanny to register something was off, especially when we all started laughing hysterically. We realized she would have slept with the guy all night and might not have even noticed when she woke up the next morning.

Ok now that this post is like 10 miles long I'm going to stop now k? If you made it this far you either must really like me or I am as entertaining as I hope I am! Ha ha!

2 Two Cents':

Ciera Waring said...

Ah, I love you, Amy :) Always the best stories, ever!

Ooo, I found this and it made me think of you and Parker/Chloe:

Meredith said...

You are too silly, Miss Amy.

I love that little baby. It makes me laugh. And I know I shouldn't call the baby "it" but right now, what else should I say? Parker/Chloe just takes too long!


Chloe getting bigger by the month...