Sunday, November 2, 2008

When everything works against the pregnant woman...

I have a funny story... If you've seen Baby Mama this story will have a familiar ring to it.

So last night my parents were in town and Preston and I spent the day with them. We were getting ready to go see a movie with them and my sisters and we all stopped at Costco for lunch. Yummy polish dogs and pizza! Before we left for the movie all of us girls stopped in at the bathroom. Obviously that didn't take care of what I drank with lunch (two medium sized cups of Sprite) but you know how it is...

We went to our movie and afterwards (me being super pregnant and all) I had to pee again... Of course the line for the bathroom was spilling out the door so I decided that it wasn't an emergency so I held it. (My big mistake...)

We went to my brother and sister-in-law's house after stopping for a quick photo shoot of them and their cute kiddies (Patty is a photographer) for Christmas cards I think. (My mistake was seeming dumber and dumber by the moment) Fortunately for me there wasn't a lot of light left to make the whole thing last very long.

When we got to their house I was the first one in with my sister in law Amy right behind me trying to turn on lights and tell me where the bathroom was while carrying a heavy car seat with her 5 month old Ellie in it. First room I ended up in was the laundry room (wrong turn, oops!) I came back out and then I fell down the random step in the hallway because it was dark and I forgot it was there. I managed to stay on my feet but I freaked Amy out cause I screamed in surprise and she couldn't see me in the dark. I reached into the next room and flipped on the light and (Thank Goodness!) there was a toilet! I closed the door, locked it and turned around to find one of these...

Would the madness ever end?!? All I wanted to do was pee for heavens sake!!! I opened the door again and called out for Amy. "How do you open your toilet?" I asked the still dark hallway. (I never thought I'd have to ask that one.) She came running in "Oh you poor thing!" By this time my stupid pregnancy hormones were starting to kick in and I was on the verge of tears. I probably would have started crying if the whole thing hadn't reminded me of the scene in Baby Mama. I told Amy I didn't think she would appreciate me peeing in her sink and on top of that I didn't think I could get up there in the first place. She laughed and I finally got my much needed relief... Ah, something had gone right!!!

What else could go wrong? Oh please let me tell! When I was finished I looked over to discover THERE WAS NO TOILET PAPER!!! Tears started to well in my eyes at this point. (Who cries over toilet paper???) Somehow I managed to keep myself in check and open the cupboard under the sink. Nothing... WHY ME?!? I started calling the names of the voices I recognized that were going back and forth by the door but my sisters were screaming and yelling so no one could hear me. I looked under the sink again and said a grateful thank you under my breath. There were flushable wipes!

When I came out the door Preston was standing right there and I scared him with the angry look on my face as I asked him how long he had been standing there. He got lucky, he'd only been standing there for like two seconds. I might have strangled him if he had heard me calling for help and didn't respond.

After I recovered, I realized how funny everything that had happened to me really was and had a great rest of the night eating wings and playing with my baby niece. I couldn't pass up the opportunity to spread the laughter. Hope you enjoyed it!!!

2 Two Cents':

Justin and Ashleigh Smith said...

How funny Amy! After I had Ethan, Justin asked me if I missed being pregnant.. I said yes but here are a few things I do NOT miss...peeing every 2 min, swollen feet and not sleeping on my stomach. It is seriously so nice when you can finally drink a glass of water without thinking "great, im just going to have to run to the bathroom in about 2 min, is it even worth it to drink it?!"

The Bergen Family said...

Oh geez, yeah those hormones will getcha! Just wait till you have that little baby, the post-partum hormones are rough too. Whne I had just had Brady, I was walking down the stairs with Alenna following behind me, and she totally biffed it and fell down the stairs. She was over it in like 5 seconds but I bawled for like half and hour! Totally irrational, I know and now its just funny to think about, but at the time it was like the worst thing to EVER HAPPEN. Hahaha.

Chloe getting bigger by the month...